Dear Annie: The perfect sister was an illusion | Ways of life


Dear Annie! I always respected and loved my sister very much. She was my big sister and I felt that she loved me and took care of me.

But things happened that made me change my mind. About six years ago on Christmas night, my grown niece and nephew were sitting around the dinner table with their friends looking through my sister’s family photo album.

Loud laughter erupted from behind the table. I ran over because I thought I missed a fun shot. I am in the photo taken 30 years ago. I was lying on the bed with my little niece and nephew. I was in my pajama shorts, playing with the kids. Everyone found it funny that my genitals were clearly visible as the legs of my shorts were open.

Instead of telling me to fix my shorts, my sister took a picture and put it in her family photo album. Everyone laughed and laughed. I was so depressed and confused. I wanted to disappear.

Later that night, my sister apologized, saying that she just happened to be taking pictures that day. What does this have to do with her putting a disgusting, humiliating photo of me in her album? Apparently it was easy to see that the photo was inappropriate and should have been thrown out.

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She recently left when she found out that I was voting for some political candidate. She started babbling madly and went crazy. Even so, I spent the day with her, hoping things would improve, but they didn’t.

Later that night, she continued to bully me through text messages. She used personal information I gave her about how I was feeling from the new chemo I was on. For some stupid reason, I thought that sharing this information with her would help me cope. She made fun of me, made fun of me and laughed at me.

I decided that my wonderful, kind, loving sister was the person I had created in my mind; this person does not exist.

I have been trying for 20 years to get back a picture of my grandmother that I gave her because she said the picture would be “safe with her”. Every time I ask for a picture, she blows smoke up my back and gives me a stupid excuse. I even told her I would make copies so everyone in the family could have a photo of Grammy. She won’t give me the painting.

Putting it all together in my mind, along with other questionable things she had done, I decided to cut her out of my life. My sister is no more; she was made up in my mind anyway, so this person never really existed.

I don’t think I was wrong to cut this person out of my life, but I’d like to hear what you think. – Cope with a toxic sister

Dear sister: She may be your older sister, but she’s too immature to look up to.

In fact, instead of cutting her off altogether, I’d suggest telling her to grow out. Tell her she has to give you that photo so you can destroy it and she has to give you the Grammy photo.

If she refuses too, let her know that the person you thought she was no longer exists. Explain that she tried to embarrass you publicly with the photo and privately by making fun of the chemotherapy news, which is horrible.

When it comes to politics, too many people are now intolerant of other points of view, and that, among other things, is a sign of immaturity. You are entitled to your opinion and she is entitled to hers. No amount of bullying can change that.

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Dear Annie: The perfect sister was an illusion | Ways of life

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